I have the utmost respect for doctors but I would like to stop dealing with them for quite some time. In happy news, I have stopped taking labetalol for my blood pressure. Apparently I had postpartum pre-eclampsia, which I didn’t even know existed. My mom, the emergency room doctor, asked me for the numbers of my blood and urine results and now that they have gone down considerably she told me she had been worried. Hopefully my results are even closer to normal or actually normal now because I am at the lab to do what I hope will be my last set of tests to confirm that there are no other lingering issues.
In other news, Lyla is now a formula fed baby. Really she has been for weeks but we were attempting breast feeding at each feeding and she was getting about 20ml from me. Unfortunately there was no gain in my supply or her weight over the last week. I started domperidone but it would take 6 weeks to see the max effects. I was very stressed and dreaded feeding. We decided we would switch to formula only if 1) the max dose of the domperidone wasn’t enough, 2) I couldn’t handle the side effects, or 3) Lyla continued to not gain weight at this week’s appointment. However, I got a call on Saturday that my mom was pulled off her plane and sent to the hospital to have her appendix removed. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I couldn’t take anymore stress. J was already hoping we’d just switch to formula so I said we would and then he said he’d feed Lyla next time so I could go see my mom. I still feel guilty and like I made the switch for mostly selfish reasons (although the lack of weight gain was a big concern for me), but I also feel relief. I can see how much she is eating and we can hopefully start establishing a routine. Maybe if I had held out longer the meds would have done the trick, but Lyla is also a lazy eater and nearly impossible to wake (and impossible to keep awake and calm enough to latch) so it was a bad combination. The what if of that bothers me, but I think we made the right decision for our whole family at the time. Through this experience I have discovered that so many women I know have struggled with nursing and most of them did switch to formula. Before I thought people just didn’t try hard enough but now I have a whole new perspective. Typing this out I can see how people might think I did t try hard enough, after all 6 weeks isn’t that long to see if something works, but these 3.5 weeks have been so hard on me emotionally that I didn’t think I could mentally handle 6 more.
Awhile back I posted that I thought push presents were a bit ridiculous (Push Present). I now revise my opinion because J surprised me with a beautiful starfish Tiffany’s necklace the day after we got home from the hospital. The necklace itself is beautiful but I love the gift more for the sentiment than anything. J had bought a new CD and he told me there was something else in the HMV bag. I opened it up and saw the little blue Tiffany’s bag. As I opened it, J said, “Thank you for pushing.” The fact that during such a busy time he thought to do something sweet and surprising for me was so touching. So I wear my necklace with pride and it is a reminder of the love and gratitude of my husband, as well as the miracle of my daughter.
On Halloween at 7:09 pm our 7 lbs., 20.5 inch precious girl entered the world! I will eventually post about her birth story but right now we are trying to get feeding under control (may have to switch to formula completely, primarily supplementing now), as well as my postpartum hypertension (high blood pressure – on medication now). These 9 days have been much harder than I expected but I can’t imagine a deeper love.
We got a sneak peek at Lyla’s face today!
While I was back on the east coast visiting family and friends, I finished the book The Birth House by Ami McKay. In a nutshell, the book is about a young girl who becomes a midwife during the first world war. Of course when there are stories of women coming of age, finding their path, and babies being born, there are many other topics that are pertinent and interesting to women as well. The book also broaches topics of a woman’s right to choose her own health care options, sexuality, family planning, marriage, domestic violence, and the power of community.
Part of what made this book interesting is that it takes place in a small part of Nova Scotia. For those who don’t recall, I grew up in Fredericton, New Brunswick – part of the Maritimes (a select grouping of east coast provinces) in Canada. New Brunswick borders Nova Scotia, which is also part of the Maritimes, and my husband’s birth province. So even though I have never been to Scots Bay (the setting of the book), there was reference to other places I’m familiar with, including Fredericton, and living on the other side of the country makes me excited about any reference to the Maritimes!
All in all, I enjoyed the book. It was especially interesting to read it while pregnant. It’s a book I’ve wanted to read for awhile because of great reviews, but I worried it would be a trigger to read it while TTC. It’s not a fast-paced, thrilling book, but it’s definitely a story worth reading.