The first time I looked in the mirror after giving birth I thought I still looked 7 months pregnant. I expected that to be the way my body would stay until I hit the gym, hard. Considering that I got in the shower during early labor and laid down on wet hair, I also looked like a hot mess. My feet and ankles were very swollen and my face also seemed extra puffy. In those first few days in the hospital, I found myself worrying that J would never find me attractive again.
I stepped on the scale the day we got home because I was curious to see how much weight I lost just from giving birth. 17 pounds. Pretty surreal to see a sudden drop like that on the scale. I’ve continued to lose weight as my uterus continued to shrink and I lost more fluid. I think I’m plateauing now and will have to work for the rest, but so far I have lost 36 pounds, 16 pounds away from my per-pregnancy weight. I’m pretty happy with that as I was worried I’d keep on the majority of the 52 pounds I gained. However, my body may forever be different. My stomach is riddled with stretch marks and far softer than it has ever been. They aren’t all that dark so I am hoping they fade well. I have some varicose veins along my side too. And although I didn’t think it was possible with my smaller boobs, they are now saggy. I feel that they lost volume from before. All of these changes, yet I don’t overly care. Sure I hope to get back in shape and if the stretch marks don’t fade considerably, I will never sport a bikini again, but it’s not worth stressing over and my body went through something pretty incredible that is so much more important than my vanity.