Before getting pregnant, I had heard about the crazy dreams that pregnant women have. I haven’t had too many crazy ones but I seem to have two recurring themes. One of these themes actually started when we started TTC. I keep dreaming that my baby won’t cry and because of that, I forget about her. It’s a horrible feeling because I usually remember her too late, after days of not feeding or changing her. In one dream, I think I even put her in her car seat on top of the car, forgot, and then drove off with her on top. If you want to psychoanalyze the dream, I’m sure it reflects anxieties about not being a good mother or somehow failing my child.
The other theme has been that I get drunk while pregnant. The weird thing is that I don’t really miss alcohol. Sure there have been a few nights when I’ve thought that a glass of wine or a fun summer cocktail would be nice, but I haven’t been longing for it and it is certainly an easy and well worth it “sacrifice” to make. But in my dreams, I decide that maybe just one small drink wouldn’t hurt and before you know it, I’m loaded. As soon as I realize I’m drunk in my dream, I am filled with regret and I start panicking over what I might have done to the baby. Again, this dream probably boils down to fears of hurting my child in some way.
Luckily, I know that neither of these dreams has any basis in reality. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes and no one is perfect, but I am confident that I will be a loving, attentive, and nurturing mother and I will try my best. Still, when I wake from these dreams, they are unsettling.