I hope my daughter doesn’t pay for my bad habits

Last Friday I did my 1-hour screening for gestational diabetes (GD). I wasn’t letting myself get too scared about it and I think I was naively counting on the results being normal. Wishful thinking. I got a call yesterday saying I that I failed the test and I now have to do a 2-hour fasting glucose tolerance test. I booked it for Monday and I should get the results at my next prenatal appointment on Wednesday.

As soon as I hung up with the nurse, I started bawling. I felt so guilty because I have been eating so much junk food and even though lots of people do and have no issues, I was engaging in a LOT of self-blame. I was so angry at myself for not being more responsible up to this point in my pregnancy and I felt like a bad mom. As I’ve mentioned several times here, J has type 1 diabetes, so my original concern with GD was adding more diabetes to the mix. Reading up on the risks to the baby, I got much more scared than I had been originally. My understanding is that if you manage GD well, the baby is likely to be healthy. Hopefully that is the case!

So right now, I don’t know if I have GD, but I am scared that I could. I was told that many people are sent for the 2 or 3-hour test and many of those people pass despite failing the 1-hour test. I hope that is the case for me, but I am starting a GD-friendly diet now so as to mitigate any further risk. I’m already feeling bored by meal planning and eating. Of course this diet is worth it to protect our baby, but I can’t help but think of upcoming events and amazing treats I had hoped to have. J and I have our 4-year anniversary tomorrow and we’re going to dinner, but now I feel restricted. My 30th birthday is in August and I selfishly think about not being able to eat cake. At work, we’ve been talking about going to this place called Peter’s Drive-In that has awesome, huge milkshakes and burgers. And I’ve been craving a big breakfast with french toast or pancakes, bacon, and home fries for months. These things are very minor in relation to creating a healthy environment in which our baby girl can develop, but I find myself getting hungry just thinking about them.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “I hope my daughter doesn’t pay for my bad habits

  1. Oh my gosh, I have SO been there. Like EXACTLY been there (very recently), right down to worrying about not eating any cake at my 30th birthday (also in August). I cried over it, blamed and hated myself and my body, and mourned all the things I wouldn’t get to eat…and that was all before I took the second test. The good news, though, is that a lot of women DO pass the 2- or 3-hour test with no problem. I did! But I’ll tell you what everyone told me: don’t be so hard on yourself. Sometimes this is just the way it goes, regardless of what you eat. It’s not your fault. There’s a very good chance you don’t have GD, but even if you do, it will be okay. You will do what you have to do to protect your child and she will be here before you know it and then you can eat until your heart’s content. But even then, remember — a little indulgence is okay. Everything in moderation. If you do the best you can almost every day, then it’s all right to splurge a bit on the special occasions. Hang in there, friend! No matter what happens, everything will be perfectly fine. xo

    • Thank you for understanding and being able to sympathize. I was very happy to read that you passed the second test. I hope to have the same outcome! I will definitely follow a more moderate diet if I don’t have GD and I’ll ask my doctor about the possibility of a birthday cupcake if I do have it, but I will forgo it if it could cause any risk. I have a history of being all or nothing when it comes to eating and exercise, but I want to find a happy, moderate balance that can be sustained.

  2. My doctor didn’t even let me take the 1 hour test, he booked me straight in for the 3 hour test because I was a little overweight when I fell pregnant and he basically just said “better to be safe than sorry”. I have my test at the end of next week, and to be honest I don’t know how to feel about having to go straight in for the 3 hour test. Part of me consoles me with the thought that he’s just being thorough, the other part gets angry as I wasn’t *that* overweight to begin with and have never ever had any other diabetes or blood sugar type problems. I’m just trying not to worry too much and I hope I do OK. Have cut down on anything too sugary for the fortnight beforehand and hoping that helps a little. Good luck for your test too!

    • When I spoke to the nurse about my results she said that they end up sending a lot of people for the 2-hour test but they don’t send absolutely everyone because of the time involved and because they can rule enough people out with the 1-hour test. So try not to be disheartened that you are skipping the 1-hour test altogether. You are doing the more sensitive test and hopefully you will have happy results. If my 1-hour results are a false alarm, I will be SO happy, but I will have experienced a lot of stress and distress over them so maybe it would have been best to go straight to the 2-hour test.

  3. I failed my first and felt the same way. I almost had myself convinced I would fail the 3 hour test, but I passed! I hope it is the same for you. Good luck!

  4. Awwww, be gentle with yourself!! Some people are perfect and still end up with GD or bad and don’t. I would imagine one of the hardest parts of pregnancy is all of the things that are out of your control and unfortunately this is another one of them :( Thinking good thoughts for you and the test.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s