Last Friday I did my 1-hour screening for gestational diabetes (GD). I wasn’t letting myself get too scared about it and I think I was naively counting on the results being normal. Wishful thinking. I got a call yesterday saying I that I failed the test and I now have to do a 2-hour fasting glucose tolerance test. I booked it for Monday and I should get the results at my next prenatal appointment on Wednesday.
As soon as I hung up with the nurse, I started bawling. I felt so guilty because I have been eating so much junk food and even though lots of people do and have no issues, I was engaging in a LOT of self-blame. I was so angry at myself for not being more responsible up to this point in my pregnancy and I felt like a bad mom. As I’ve mentioned several times here, J has type 1 diabetes, so my original concern with GD was adding more diabetes to the mix. Reading up on the risks to the baby, I got much more scared than I had been originally. My understanding is that if you manage GD well, the baby is likely to be healthy. Hopefully that is the case!
So right now, I don’t know if I have GD, but I am scared that I could. I was told that many people are sent for the 2 or 3-hour test and many of those people pass despite failing the 1-hour test. I hope that is the case for me, but I am starting a GD-friendly diet now so as to mitigate any further risk. I’m already feeling bored by meal planning and eating. Of course this diet is worth it to protect our baby, but I can’t help but think of upcoming events and amazing treats I had hoped to have. J and I have our 4-year anniversary tomorrow and we’re going to dinner, but now I feel restricted. My 30th birthday is in August and I selfishly think about not being able to eat cake. At work, we’ve been talking about going to this place called Peter’s Drive-In that has awesome, huge milkshakes and burgers. And I’ve been craving a big breakfast with french toast or pancakes, bacon, and home fries for months. These things are very minor in relation to creating a healthy environment in which our baby girl can develop, but I find myself getting hungry just thinking about them.