Dropping the Ball?

Sometimes I feel like I am already failing as a mother. As much as I wanted a baby and still want this baby (oh so much!!!!), I have a hard time making all the perfect choices. I often eat things I shouldn’t (fast food, chips, ice cream, cookies, candy . . .) and don’t eat everything I should (8 servings of fruit and veggies a day, probably not quite enough protein, 10 glasses of water). Some days are definitely better than others and I usually get at least 6 glasses of water and I aim for at least 4 or 5 servings of veggies, but when thinking of what I want for lunch, I often turn to chicken fingers and fries over a nice healthy wrap or can of tuna and rice. Same goes for snack options. Chips sound so much more appetizing and satisfying than carrots with hummus (although I just ate carrots and hummus as a mid-morning snack at work). I also still drink diet coke, but not in the volume I once did or anything close. My doctor said the equivalent of one can a day would be fine. I don’t even have it that often, but I worry that maybe my doctor’s wrong and I should have cut it out cold turkey. On top of the diet issue, I’m not exactly exercising. I’ve tried, a bit. I went for a few walks and within 5-10 minutes, my calves were burning. Then I hobbled home at a ridiculously slow pace. One time it was so bad that when I got home my left leg felt foreign to my body and a cross between numb and tingling. It stayed like that for about 20-30 minutes I’d say. I also tried a little prenatal yoga thanks to youtube videos, but I hate yoga ordinarily and didn’t particularly like the prenatal variety either. Motivation for exercise has never been my strong suit, but now I have a whole different level of guilt. It’s not just my body I could be hurting; what if I am putting my baby at risk. You’d think that would be enough motivation right there, but then I think about all the people who don’t exercise and eat crap and they manage to escape complications with their pregnancies and their babies. I know what the best choice would be, but it’s hard to force myself into it. I just want my baby to be healthy and I worry that I’m not doing enough to make that happen. Probably ridiculous, but if something happens, won’t I blame myself or at least wonder what if?


5 thoughts on “Dropping the Ball?

  1. OHHH Honey!! You are fine! We all eat things we “shouldn’t”. I know we have more knowledge now, but when we were born, or parents only cut out smoking and drinking. Most of us are fine! You are going to be a great mom, and indulging in these things is not going to harm your baby. I honestly think the majority of why people take things so seriously is because of lawsuits! I have been addicted to frozen coke, and drink it often! I also don’t get enough veggies either. Just take your prenatal and it will be fine :)

    • Thank you for the reassurance! My mom is so healthy. She definitely indulges from time to time but she’s all about moderation and she eats a lot of variety. I imagine she was the same while pregnant with me. So I guess I compare myself to her. But even she said there was no way she got 8 servings of fruit and veggies a day. I’m a picky eater, which makes it even harder. I think part of the reason I’m so self-conscious about it because I’m a psychologist who diagnoses learning disabilities, ADHD, etc. all the time and I test IQ with every client so I’m all about cognitive development, risk factors, etc. A psychologist friend of mine and I once talked about how we think sometimes it would be better if we knew less about all this stuff because it can make us neurotic when it comes to our kids/pregnancies.

  2. I hear ya, girl! I struggle in the same way. I do exercise, but I eat and drink things I shouldn’t — diet soda included, some days. I used to stress over it and feel incredible guilt, but I’m now one of those people who believe that you do the best you can and let the rest slide. Pregnancy is such a tumultuous time for hormones and emotions and fears — why add one more thing to worry about? I don’t like veggies much in pregnancy, so I eat as much fruit as I can and mix veggies into things like pasta when I’m able to, but I no longer try to count my servings. It just drives me crazy and makes me feel like a failure doing that. And the same goes for water — I drink a lot and figure that, as long as I feel hydrated, it’s good enough. And you know what? I did it this way in my first pregnancy too and my little Cupcake came out perfectly fine and healthy in every possible way. Go easy on yourself, okay? None of us are doing this perfectly and you’re not alone by any means!

  3. don’t stress yourself about what you “should” “shouldn’t” be eating etc
    my doctor told me the best thing we can do is follow our tummys and the worst is worry about.

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