Only Child?

This past weekend was a double celebration for us. Sunday was both my first (unofficial?) mother’s day and J’s 32nd birthday. Sunday was a day of mostly chores for both of us, but J got me a beautiful, touching mother’s day card that made me cry! He had some cards from family that he opened and I had him pick what I’d make for dinner. His real celebration was a dinner out on Saturday. He requested Buffalo Wild Wings. We had never been there, but he loves the Pittsburgh Penguins and wings, so a wing-oriented sports bar on the night of a Penguins game was perfect. Since he is a type 1 diabetic who is very strict with his insulin and carb intake, he said no to offers of a cake (he’s never been that into cake anyway) or lemon pie (which he does splurge on at Christmas). He said wings would be his cake :)

While we were at dinner, we started talking about the baby and making guesses about whether it’s a boy or girl (stay tuned because our ultrasound is booked for May 31st!). Everyone has been telling me that they think it’s a boy, so I have started to believe this too. J said he thinks it’s a girl. This led to a conversation about how J thinks this is likely going to be our only child. I hadn’t been thinking that way, but I agree that I don’t expect having another one will suddenly be easy or even possible. We both consider ourselves to be so blessed with this opportunity to be parents to one child, and as an only child, I know that it can be lonely, but not so bad (and there are several benefits). Because of this, we probably won’t pursue IVF to have another child. We agree that we’ll never use birth control again, because a natural pregnancy would be very welcomed. We’re are also on the same page (at least at this moment) that if we do not get pregnant again, but we want to expand our family, that adoption might be the right path for us. J used to see adoption as a last resort before we ever started TTC because he worried about his ability to love an adopted child as much as he’d love his own biological child, but something has changed. To hear him talk about how he likes the idea of adoption because there are children out there who need homes and how he would love them just as much melts my heart. Bottom line: I don’t know what the future has in store for our family, and right now I am just beyond ecstatic to be pregnant with this child, but going forward, I know that J and I will be building and nurturing our family together.

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2 thoughts on “Only Child?

  1. Isn’t it interesting how this “infertility” thing changes our opinions about things? This is a beautiful post, by the way. It’s nice not to have to “force” a feeling or opinion on your spouse, but to have them come up with it all on their own and still end up on the “same page.”

    • It certainly gives perspective doesn’t it? Not that I would wish it on anyone just to gain that perspective and I can speak from a positive place now since we have been so fortunate. I think that tragic and/or difficult situations really make or break relationships, and I am very thankful that J and I seem to always get stronger through the hardships.

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