What was the magic trick?

I have seen people ask and post about what was different about the cycle where someone actually manage to conceive. I started reflecting on my cycle and there a few possibilities:

1) the extra CoQ10 my RE had me taking (800mg – 200 4X a day) helped my eggs out

2) the Chinese herbs I was taking finally kicked in

3) chance of pregnancy often rises in the three months after an HSG – we conceived in February, the third month after my HSG

4) I decided eff it – it’s probably not going to happen on its own and we’re on the wait list for IVF. I drank whenever I wanted, not just before ovulation. And we didn’t put much effort into sex (i.e., timing it, making sure we did it tons). My mind was more occupied by other projects, work, and things I enjoy.

I’m hesitant to even post the fourth point because it gives fuel to all those people who say things like: just relax, you just need to get drunk, stop trying. I really don’t think that it’s easy to stop trying or relax and I don’t think alcohol is a magic fertility drug. I think that pouring myself into projects like prepping for my friend’s stagette and getting my mind off TTC and infertility likely helped, but I don’t know that it was the magic trick. I doubt that if I had suddenly been more relaxed say 6 months ago that it would have happened then.

In reality, I don’t think there was a magic trick. I think that it was luck (maybe divine intervention if you swing that way). I think that the perfect circumstances happened to collide this one month. Our RE always said there was a possibility of conceiving on our own, it was just less likely. I don’t know that if we were to try again we’d be able to conceive on our own again. It doesn’t feel like a certainty or suddenly I’m cured. It feels like a very fortunate turn of events.


5 thoughts on “What was the magic trick?

  1. I really hate to say it, but I was also more relaxed the month I got pregnant. I wasn’t really expecting anything and was living my life more normally. But obviously, there was more to it than that. It was also a month where I had fertility treatment that helped to overcome our joint reproductive issues. I had also been on my low-GI diet which is supposed to be good for PCOS. And there were other months where I was relaxed, but nothing happened! So, I think that relaxing didn’t hurt, but I agree with you that the reasons for pregnancy are mysterious and somewhat out of our control.

    I also drank wine socially after ovulation. It’s helpful to enjoy your life a little during the long TTC process.

  2. Many congratulations on your natural pregnancy! News like this gives a boost to all of us still hoping. Thanks for posting about what you did differently the cycle you got pregnant- I had wondered. ‘You need to relax and not think about it’ is all I hear from my acupuncturist, so that point kind of rings true. Maybe there’s something in it…but I think we all know there’s more to it than simply being relaxed. My plan for this cycle is to stop doing all the things I’ve been doing lately (acupuncture, herbs, reading and googling too much and trying too hard to relax), hopefully just shelving the issue for a few months will help me be more relaxed.
    Really well done for hanging in there!

  3. I agree that it’s just dumb luck. Everything just happened to fall together in the right order. My BFF made the comment that it was the foster-adoption that made us get pregnant. She’s lucky I love her.

    • Exactly! I think that if you do manage to relax or let go (or somewhat stop trying) that is has to come naturally and in its own time. I have heard stories from people who stopped trying after 6 years. The thought of reaching that point broke my heart, but we did essentially stop trying (i.e., obsessing) when we knew that IVF was around the corner. My fingers are crossed for you!

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