Tis the Season

On Friday night, I went to J’s office Christmas party. It was on the casual side and held at the office (which isn’t so bad since there’s a playstation – hello Rock Band and Rap Star!), bubble hockey set, and lots of booze. The staff all had a nice lunch at a steakhouse and drinks early on and then significant others were invited for the evening. Because I was only on CD11, I decided it was safe to drink. I was dead sober at last year’s, knew next to no one, and felt pretty awkward. As sad as it is to say that alcohol helped me mingle and have a good time this year, it did. When I drink I’m not so good with limits. I get drunk pretty quick and once drunk another drink seems like a great idea. To avoid any regrettable moments or embarrassing situations, J asked/told me not to drink too much. I drank enough to be drunk and too much to avoid a hangover, but I kept it contained.

My work Christmas party is this Friday. We’re doing more of a traditional (and possibly a little less fun) dinner and dance. It’s a semi-formal event though, so I get to wear a new long-sleeved black  sequined mini dress. I plan on being the DD mainly because of where I’ll be in my cycle. Considering that I don’t even really know all of my coworkers, J will definitely feel pretty awkward I think. So I’m sure he’ll be having plenty of drinks to make up for my soberness.

Since we’re in the throes of my fertility window right now, I’m reflecting on many things. On Friday at the party, I noticed some ewcm and a pretty moist (blech, hate that word) thong.  I wanted to yelp with joy! Funny the little, and kinda gross, things that make our hearts soar when TTC. On more of the downside, I was thinking about how TTC (particularly prolonged TTC) sucks the passion and excitement out of sex. I so wish I could just have sex with my husband when we both feel like it. What I would really love is “I can’t wait to rip your clothes off” sex. I know that tends to dwindle in long-term relationships anyway (as anyone I know who has been with someone for 3 or 4+ years seems to be able to attest to), but there’s nothing like having to have sex to drive that point home. Because of the necessity of timed sex, it seems like neither of us is too keen on it during the “off-season”.

Continuing with the random nature of this post: I found out today that one of my coworkers, who I am quite friendly with, is 9 weeks pregnant with baby #2. I knew she was trying (as of September, 2 months before her daughter even turned 1) and I really appreciate that she told me when it was just the two of us. She didn’t really say it in a way that suggested that she was trying to be sensitive to my needs, but rather just with the excitement that she deserves to feel. I am genuinely happy for her, but of course a part of me feels like I should get a turn before everyone else makes their way through round 2. She had it so easy too. It only took 2 months each time! Maybe she’ll be my lucky charm though since she told me that everyone around her got pregnant once she was pregnant with her first, even some couples who had been struggling (wishful, delusional thinking).

Tomorrow is our appointment with the RE. Results, lots of questions, and treatment plans are on the agenda. I will be sure to post about it afterward.