This is a little bit embarrassing in a way. This is my 100th post and I’ve only been blogging for 4 months. I just read a post by Cassie Dash at Waiting to Expand and she said she found it hard to believe she had written 100 posts in 6 months. Well I managed it in only 4. I know I talk a lot, so I guess it makes sense that I type a lot too.
In honor of the 100th post, Cassie wrote a lists of 100 things she’s thankful for and I’m going to follow suit. Hopefully it doesn’t come off as braggy since I do consider myself to have a lot of things to be thankful for.
Family & Friends
1. J – I love him and he loves me. That alone deserves a huge amount of thanks. I am also extremely grateful that I love a good man. One who is kind-hearted, handsome, and funny. One who supports me and values me. Sure he sometimes forgets the value of every little thing I do around the house and sometimes his teasing is funny and sometimes I’m extra sensitive, but at the end of the day I love him with all my heart and I know he feels the same.
2. My parents. They haven’t done everything perfectly; what parent does?! But they have loved me and supported me. They are proud of me and I am proud of them.
3. My grandfather – even when I felt like my parents didn’t understand me, I always felt loved by him. He was born in 1901 and I was lucky enough to have him in my life until I was 13.
4. Sarah, Carolyn, Nicole, and Kara – four of my first best friends who continue to be my best friends. We are mostly quite different, but we have a sisterly bond. No matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other, it feels like old times.
5. Jasmine – we didn’t become friends until high school but she quickly became one of my best friends. I can be 100% myself with her.
6. Charlotte, Lindsay, and Camille – the three best roommates and best friends from university a girl could ask for. We all live in different places now but we manage to keep in touch and support each other through our major life moments.
7. Andree – for helping me through the world of diabetes and infertility. I’m so glad that our paths crossed while she was in Calgary and that we’ve kept up our friendship long distance.
8. My cousin Juls. She is the only cousin close to my age and some of my favorite moments were our summer vacations at the beach. She also lets me be a surrogate aunt to her three daughters who I love so much. She is a great mom and it shows in how wonderful her girls are.
9. My niece and nephew. Even though I am not a blood relative, I am lucky to call myself their aunt. They are great kids and I will always look out for them. Same goes for my nephew who has a few more months to go before he makes an appearance.
10. Laura, Keoma, and Dusty – thank you for being receptive to my blog and checking in for updates or just lending your support.
11. Alicia – she doesn’t read my blog, but it’s great to finally have a best girl friend in the city again.
12. My in-laws – I have friends who do not get along with their in-laws or who find them annoying. I like mine and they treat me well. I feel like a part of the family, not someone who just happened to marry their son/brother/nephew/grandson.
13. My coworkers – they make work fun, most of the time :)
14. Any other friend I haven’t mentioned. I feel very blessed to have many long-lasting friendships.
15. J’s job. There were times when many in his position were laid off and he luckily kept his job. He has since proven himself to be a highly valued employee (which I know is due to all his hard work).
16. My job. I know others who had a hard time finding work as a provisional (under supervision/in training) psychologist or who couldn’t stay at their provisional placement once they were registered. I am thankful that my internship placement just kept growing the position along with my credentials and experience. I am also thankful that they put me on salary instead of having to live client to client.
17. My parents again. They have always provided everything I need and knew not to give me everything I want. Along with scholarships, they made it possible for me to get through school debt free and they made so many experiences and opportunities possible. The comfortable upbringing they gave me has paved the way for my current lifestyle.
18. Owning a home. It’s not the biggest, but it gives us enough space and we have it set up just how we like it. We can be happy here for years to come.
19. The fact that J is so financially responsible. If he feels we can afford something, I don’t question it because he doesn’t overspend and he does his research before making any large purchases.
20. The fact that school came easily to me. Sure I had a wake up call and had to learn how to actually study in first year university, but I have never felt limited in what I could do as a career.
21. My job again. I am grateful that my job is something I’m passionate about and not just a pay cheque. I feel proud to work for the organization I work for.
22. (essentially stolen from Cassie) Being born in a First World country with all of the opportunities, rights, healthcare, education, and comforts it provides.
23. That my dad made me read The Wealthy Barber when I was 18 and he got me started with an RRSP.
24. My wedding day. There may be little touches I would change if I were to do it over again, but I can’t imagine being any happier on the day of our wedding.
25. Graduating from high school and undergrad (I didn’t go to my grad school graduation). It was great to celebrate these achievements with my friends and family. I am proud of the grades I earned and the awards I won.
26. Defending my master’s thesis and the relief that came with it being over.
27. Passing the EPPP and oral exam and getting registered as a psychologist.
28. Being a bridesmaid for Charlotte, Lindsay, and Sarah. I was honored to be a part of each of their weddings.
29. Being thrown a bridal shower and stagette by friends in my hometown and being given a surprise shower at work and a surprise stagette by friends in my “new” city.
30. All of the opportunities for travel that I’ve had: France, Greece, Italy, Spain, Austria, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, the US, and the Caribbean.
31. Having parents that always made my birthdays a big deal and they humored me when I started planning the next birthday as soon as that one was over.
32. Dance. It’s the only activity I ever stuck with (besides swimming which my mom wouldn’t let me quit until she was sure I was safe, since she can barely swim).
33. My parents were always willing to drive me to my friends’ places, pick them up and drop them off, and welcome them for dinner and sleepovers. I may be an only child, but I never had cause to be lonely.
34. My parents (particularly my mom who doesn’t normally rock the boat) stood up for me as necessary (e.g., when I was being treated unfairly, not being challenged in school, etc.).
35. Being allowed to take friends on some family vacations since I am an only child.
36. Christmas mornings with my neighborhood friends.
37. Never having adult worries placed on my child shoulders.
38. That my dad got sober when I was young enough to forget (at least from conscious memory) the drinking days.
39. I am generally physically healthy with the exception of some allergies, exercise induced asthma and, as yet unidentified, infertility
40. Even though I felt like I was going through hell when I was diagnosed with depression, counseling and medication helped so that it doesn’t often affect me anymore.
41. J has been a superstar when it comes to handling his diabetes.
42. My parents may take more and more medications as they get older, but they are still in pretty good health. I hope they live many more years.
43. With the exception of two more distant relatives who had unrelated cancers, there is no history of cancer in my family.
44. My metabolism is still pretty rocking. I may be heavier than my ideal, but given the way I eat, I should be very thankful that my waistline is what it is.
45. I lived it up in my youth, so I don’t feel like I am missing out on a bunch of experiences that are mainly only acceptable in your teens and 20s.
46. Traveling to Dominican with girlfriends during university. It was my first trip without my parents or some other adult chaperone.
47. The fact that we made it back to the resort in DR alive after being stuck in the market after the buses stopped running.
48. Road trips with the girls to PEI, Miramichi, Shediac, Moncton, and Halifax.
49. Getting to surprise SP at her stagette from the other side of the country.
50. Having the opportunity to visit my friends when they become moms, even when they are spread throughout the country.
51. Being able to take a vacation down south each year that we’ve been married.
52. My kindle – best present ever
53. My clothes – I love shopping and having pretty things to wear
54. My Chanel earrings – I have coveted all things Chanel for years and I finally have a little piece of Coco.
55. My Nine West pumps. Finally I found high heels that are comfortable.
56. My gray boots. I want them in black and brown too (if only) and I wish they would never wear out.
57. TV – I have an addiction, but it’s one I am not yet ready to give up. So many shows are so entertaining and help me escape from the stresses of daily life.
58. Our cars because the transit system here is not so reliable and it’s a big, spread out city to navigate.
59. The internet – what would I ever do without you?!
60. Carbohydrates . . . .you taste so good even if I shouldn’t indulge in you so much.
61. Garlic – probably my favorite flavor in the world
62. Spas. Massages are the best.
63. Coconut – best scent ever with vanilla following close behind.
64. Halloween – such a fun time of year with all the costumes, candy, and spookiness.
65. Being born in the Maritimes and learning to appreciate its beauty and the peaceful way of life there (even though I couldn’t wait to move to a big city when I was younger).
66. Diet Coke – my vice
67. Living in a city that has amenities I never had growing up (good shopping, national Broadway tours, science museum, etc.)
68. My eyes (I like the deep blue color) and my nose – my favorite physical features. My nose is a little button nose which is unexpected given that my parents have more substantial noses
69. Cameras and scrapbooks. I love memories, and photos and momentos are great for reminiscing.
70. The photos I took as a wedding present for J. Whenever I need a reminder that I had (have?) a great figure and can be sexy, I can just look at them.
71. I don’t have any big regrets because other than wanting to add a child to the equation, I wouldn’t want my life with J to change in any substantial way.
72. Being a redhead (even if it’s subtle) because it makes me feel unique (yay gingers!)
73. Facebook – as annoyed as some people are by it, I love it because it allows me to be connected with friends and family all over the country and even all over the world.
74. That I took a risk on J when making decisions about grad school. I still got to the same end goal and I can’t imagine giving up on love.
75. That I never had to make a decision about an unwanted pregnancy. Even though part of me is kicking myself for not starting earlier, I am glad that I never had to feel upset about having a baby/being pregnant. I want it to be an amazing experience when it finally happens.
76. Having a stepfather-in-law who is a contractor and was willing to come out to help us when we first took possession of our home. It saved us a lot of frustration I’m sure.
77. I am thankful to live in a city that has a fertility clinic
78. I am thankful that the fertility clinic has a high success rate
79. I am thankful that we were assigned to the highest rated local RE, who was also recommended to us by my friend’s RE in another city
80. I am thankful that we didn’t haven’t to wait the full estimated time before getting in for our first apppointment
81. Getting in for my HSG and pelvic ultrasound quickly
82. Knowing that we’ll get our results on Dec. 11 and then we can talk treatments
83. Discovering that I like acupuncture and it helps me to relax
84. Discovering that acupuncture is covered up to a generous point under J’s benefits
85. My family doctor was willing to refer us before the 12 month mark
86. I feel closer to my mom through this process
87. J has put up with my obsessing and moodiness, even though he admits that he can sometimes tell I am miserable and it isn’t always fun
88. Already knowing that we’re both willing to try IVF and adoption if it comes to it
89. We aren’t in as bad financial shape as many who have to seek such expensive fertility treatments
90. I have discovered many other women (both online and IRL) who have gone through or are currently going through similar struggles. I am not alone.
91. Starting this blog has been a wonderful creative and emotional outlet
92. I’ve discovered how much my friends support me through their kind words, requests for updates, and interest in my blog.
93. I never used to consider myself a particularly strong person, but with each new challenge (and infertility in particular) that life throws my way, I discover that I have the ability to dig in and keep going. It’s not easy and I definitely break, but I’m not completely broken.
94. I am happy to be a woman. Even though we are considered a minority group (despite having majority numbers) in our treatment by society and we have more physical burdens, I think we are strong. We have to be to keep going. Also, I am so thankful that there is the possibility that I can support new life from within my body. That I can, hopefully, one day go through the physical experience of carrying and delivering a baby.
95. Being more resolved than ever that I will be a good mother.
96. Owning a home with 3 bedrooms, enough room for 2 kids if we can be so lucky.
97. Knowing that J is going to be a hands-on, loving dad
98. Knowing that I will fall in love with J all over again when I see him as a dad
99. Trusting that I will experience what it feels like the first moment your child is placed in your arms
100. Knowing that whatever sacrifices we have to make in our journey toward parenthood and as parents, it will be worth it.