I often resort to Dr. Google for the answers to my questions, but I am trying to avoid him today. Last night I realized that Google only brings false hope or heartbreak and only time (and a pregnancy test) ever tells me the truth.
The reason I was considering consulting Dr. Google is because I am waiting for my period to arrive and it’s being a little funky. Yesterday I went to the washroom and after a bowel movement I noticed a smear of light red on the toilet paper. I was thinking, oh great, there goes this month. But I waited to put a tampon in because I am supposed to call the clinic on the first day of my full flow and I wanted to make sure this was indeed going to turn into a full flow before 3pm (after 3 I am supposed to count the next day as CD1). However, as I went to the bathroom throughout the day, the toilet paper showed less and less blood and it got lighter and browner. Eventually there was essentially nothing. This morning there was a bit of beige, but nothing worth a tampon by any means. Now I know that spotting can happen in early pregnancy. I also know that some women spot leading up to their period. I have never been a pre-period spotter, but things change. So I am just going to wait it out because right now I really know nothing and Google will just make me confused and have me stressing. In this moment at least, I know I can’t control the outcome so Google won’t do me any good.
Totally an aside, but J was talking to his mom last night and he told her not to ask anymore about whether we’re pregnant. She was defensive and said she doesn’t ask, which is true for the most part. However, whenever we are back on the east coast with the family, they all say they were expecting that our trip was to announce that I’m pregnant. His dad even said (in a well-meaning way) that we’re not getting any younger. J told his mom about our upcoming testing and hopefully she passes it on to the other family members so that they can be more sensitive to our issues.