I have mentioned snippets about myself and J on the blog before, but I thought I’d give you a more detailed description of us and let you know about how we came to be a couple.
J is currently 31. He is a licensed land surveyor and works in senior management at a geomatic engineering company. He’s a boss, which I think he still finds a bit funny from time to time. It’s no surprise to me that he is a boss though because he is extremely responsible, hard working, and intelligent. [I actually know just how intelligent he is because I used him as my guinea pig one time when I had to practice an IQ test during grad school. I just so happened to administer it to him the day after he proposed and I joked that I was making sure that I had made the right choice. :)] J has the quintessential engineer’s brain. He is amazingly good with spatial reasoning and he is exceptionally practical. In that way, he also has the stereotypical male brain. When we watch thrillers, crime shows, or horror movies, he’s always pointing out a more logical approach which seems like the obvious response to him even though I know I’d be screaming my head off and at a loss for what to do just like the person on TV. J is quiet until you get to know him and then he is funny, silly, and fun-loving. He loves beer and likes to try new kinds whenever he has the chance. Energy drinks are his vice (but only sugar free since he’s a type 1 diabetic). He’s awesome at poker and loves Vegas. He has managed to fully fund a few trips there by his winnings. Even though he’s usually a couch potato at home, he’s always playing beach volleyball when we go down south. He has catch phrases that he cycles through. Sometimes I find them adorable and at other times they irritate the hell out of me. He’s oblivious to things right in front of him and I usually have to get involved if he’s searching for something. He’s proven himself handier than I ever thought he was now that we’ve had some home repair issues. He’s a master pumpkin carver, having previously done Scooby Doo, Mona Lisa, Darth Vadar, and a beagle that looked like my friend’s dog. He loves old school rap and hip hop. His favorite hockey team is the Penguins and his favorite football team is the Chargers. He is into technology and photography and always has to have the latest equipment. He’s tall and lean, but not lanky or too skinny (as he sometimes thinks he is). His hair is greying, especially near the temples, but I think it makes him look distinguished. Thursdays are my favorite day of the work week because J and his coworkers do “Tie Thursdays” and he looks so handsome.
I am currently 29. I am a school & applied child psychologist although I sometimes work with adults too. Even though I like what I do, if I was 18 again and I knew what I know now, I might have become a midwife. If I was braver, I might have become a wedding planner. I am very liberal in my views. Patience is not my strength, although I am generally quite patient with kids. I am a self-described nerd, but I was also pretty popular (not uber popular mind you) in school. I watch far too much tv, but once I start watching a show I get into it quickly and then I feel almost obligated to keep watching it. I am at my best when I’m busy, but give me the chance to be lazy and I’ll take it. I love shopping and I’m more likely to buy more reasonably priced things than one thing that costs a lot of money (although I am trying to go for quality pieces more often now). I love wine and fruity martinis. I am short and more or less petite. I have reddish hair and a ton of freckles. I look younger than I am. I have even been mistaken for a high school student (since I work in schools) on several occasions; one time a substitute teacher thought this meant she could cut in front of me in line for the photocopier. I tend to be less rational than J and lead with my emotions. I used to take dance (mostly tap and jazz with some lyrical, maritime step dancing, and hip hop mixed in) from the ages of 4-18. I mostly just dance around my living room now. I had headgear (only for bed) in elementary school and so did 3 of my best friends. I like most kinds of music, but I feel “out of touch” with today’s hits. Diet Coke is my vice. I do all the cooking at home and I used to like cooking for J before it became a regular expectation. Even though I have a great memory for facts, I need to do lists (which I often write on my hand) to remember what needs to be done. I like scrapbooking, but I like to finish them quickly so they aren’t as intricate as many people’s (a patience issue). I studied French Immersion from grades 4-12 and then I took a year of Spanish and German in university. I love languages and verb conjugation (rote memorization is my forte). When I was 11, I traveled to Paris and it’s the only European city I’ve ever visited twice. It holds a special place in my heart. I have been to Disney World 6 times (and I’m dying to go back) because my parents could both find applicable medical conferences in Florida during spring break and they could write some of the trip off come tax time. My grandfather was was born in 1901 and died days shy of his 96th birthday. He had to drop out of school in grade 5 and was one of the smartest, best people I ever knew. I have my earlobes, top of one ear, nose, and navel pierced, but no tattoos (still considering it). I still sleep with my stuffed polar bear, Lars, that I’ve had since I was a baby. Even though I love the look of high heels, I can’t really wear them (at least not the really high ones) because my feet are super sensitive. If I could have a massage everyday for the rest of my life, I might not need sex (and I like sex!).
As a couple, J and I are different, but often in a complimentary way. As already mentioned, J is more practical and I’m more emotional. When we’re looking at mapquest directions, he looks at the map and I read the words. He is great at saving money and I’m good at spending it. He can reach the top shelves and I don’t have to bend far to reach the low ones. He loves sports and I love musicals. I wish he liked wine and he wishes I liked beer. He likes reality shows like Storage Wars and Swamp People whereas I like the Glee Project and America’s Next Top Model (but we agree on Survivor and the Bachelor). We share the same core values.
J and I met almost 7 years ago. I was one of the first of my friends to give online dating a try. Really, my friend and I made a fake profile so that we could check out what Fredericton had to offer. There we came across J’s profile and my friend convinced me that I had to make a real profile and message him. He was cute and had a sarcastic sense of humor that was totally up my alley. So I created my profile and messaged him, then we started talking on MSN and arranged a date. We had 6 dates in the first 2 weeks and quickly became a couple. My mom said she thought I was in love with him already at that point. I told her she was crazy but I was a bit freaked out because I think she was right. We dated for 6 months and then J had to return to Calgary for summer work. Since I was planning to move to Calgary in September for grad school and possibly the rest of my life, I decided to enjoy one last summer in Fredericton with my parents and friends. Come September, after 4 months of long distance, I moved to Calgary and spent a week with J before he had to return to Fredericton for one last semester of school (so we switched places). After 6 months together, we spent a total of 8 months apart. It definitely tested our relationship, but we were both committed to each other and at the end of the 8 months, J moved in with me. We’ve had a lot of stressors, on top of the distance, in the 7 years we’ve been together, including diagnoses, family issues, and major work stress, but I think we get stronger each time. Infertility is our latest stressor and I hope we’ll come out stronger (and with a new addition, or two, to our family) at the end of it.