I am an avid poster/reader on the www.babycenter.com message boards. Last night I was on the website and came across a new post (http://community.babycenter.com/post/a34944049/is_it_a_good_time_for_a_bite_me_thread). It is a post dedicated to ranting and venting about all the things that anger you about TTC and infertility problems and I have to say I LOVED it!
I mean no disrespect or offense to anyone these may apply to (especially those close to me, who I love and appreciate so very much – I am so happy for all of you, just heartbroken for myself), but here are some BITE MEs I’d like to throw out there:
BITE ME parents who keep their kids but don’t actually parent (i.e., don’t take responsibility for their children and continue to act like children themselves, yet yell about how they are the parent when someone else tries to do what is right for the child). The universe is unjust when people who aren’t ready to be parents, don’t want to be parents, and/or don’t deserve to be parents get to be so easily. It’s not fair for their children and I wish I had the chance to parent them. (This is NOT meant for parents who make the most selfless decision ever to place their children for adoption)
BITE ME girl from high school who posted your sonogram picture along with the announcement that you’re having a boy so that it was the very first thing I saw when I logged into facebook after reading some posts on the forums that had me feeling really negative about my situation.
BITE ME beautiful pregnant girls who complain about how your clothes don’t fit and you are uncomfortable and tell my friend who is getting married “don’t do it!” while I’m sitting there. No you didn’t know I was trying to conceive and you don’t owe me anything, but I highly doubt you’d take your pregnancy back if you could!
BITE ME to the same girls who then tell the bride that she’s next. Why can’t I be next? I’ve been trying way longer and I don’t even think my friend has any intention of trying anytime soon.
BITE ME 2WW – The wait is so hard and progesterone often fools me into feeling hopeful. Also, I can’t just do what I want (e.g., cocktail on the back deck) like friends and husband. My months are split in two pieces.
BITE ME universe for making some people go into debt or have to abandon hope when trying to become a parent when so many others get pregnant for free. Kids cost a lot of money, but why can’t those fees be restricted to once you know you’re pregnant!?!
BITE ME self for SO many reasons. 1) Hope – it makes the disappointment that much harder. 2) Catastrophizing and making myself anxious at the though of never having kids or taking years to get there. 3) For stress eating and not exercising and then blaming myself for these behaviors and fearing they might be what is keeping me from conceiving. 4) For obsessing over babies and looking at clothes, pictures, furniture, names, etc. 5) For telling everyone we were TTC. Now I feel extra pressure and get some questions about if it has happened yet.
BITE ME people who make it look so easy to get pregnant. I expected the same for myself.
BITE ME everyone who either doesn’t have kids or got pregnant easily who tells me to relax, stop trying (hahaha as if), it’ll happen when you least expect it, I should enjoy my time without kids, and I should just enjoy trying. This does not help and actually stresses me out more. BITE ME to them for not being able to get it and thinking that I must be some neurotic, obsessed mess for having these concerns. Also, because by telling me it’s because I’m trying too hard implies that it’s MY FAULT!
Try it. It feels good!